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  Copyright 2019 Erica Marselas

  All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods, without the prior written permission of the publisher, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical reviews and certain other noncommercial uses permitted by copyright law.

  This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, places, events, and incidents are the products of the author’s imagination and/or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental.

  Edited by: Kristen @YourEditingLounge

  Cover Design by: Sly Fox Cover Designs

  Contents

  Copyright 2019 Erica Marselas

  Prologue

  Chapter One

  Chapter Two

  Chapter Three

  Chapter Four

  Chapter Five

  Chapter Six

  Chapter Seven

  Chapter Eight

  Chapter Nine

  Chapter Ten

  Chapter Eleven

  Chapter Twelve

  Chapter Thirteen

  Chapter Fourteen

  Epilogue

  BEFORE YOU GO….

  PLAYLIST

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  ACKNOWLEDGMENTS:

  ABOUT THE AUTHOR

  This story is dedicated to Melissa, Leslie, Denise, Aakriti, and Lexi because without you guys, this story would have never taken off and come to life. Thank you for listening to me, for all your input, your notes, talking me through—everything. Love you ladies!

  Prologue

  13 years earlier...

  Dexter: 11 years old.

  I stand at her door, fidgeting with the edge of my shirt, not knowing what I'm supposed to do. My best friend, Meadow, is wrapped in her pink blanket, clenching the teddy bear I got her several Christmases ago, crying.

  Not the kind of crying she does after I steal her toys or even after she falls and scrapes her knee. This is something I've never seen before. Her whole body trembles from under the blankets and she sounds as if she's howling.

  Maybe this wouldn't be a good time to ask if she wants to play Guitar Hero?

  “Go ahead in, Dex. She needs you right now.” Valerie, Meadow's mom gives me a gentle squeeze on the shoulder and wipes the tears from her eyes with her other hand. She's the one who had called my mom and told me to come over. I know about some of what happened, but I'm still confused to why it happened.

  “I don't know what to do.”

  “Just be there for her. Like you always are. She needs to see that someone else is here and cares for her, other than her old mother.”

  I slowly walk into her room after a small nudge from Valerie and climb into her bed.

  “Meadow?” I shake her shoulder, but she doesn't reply. “Meow, Meow…” I tease her with the nickname I gave her when I was two because I couldn't say her name correctly. It usually makes her laugh and swat at me.

  Her head peeks out from under the pink covers, and she wipes away the large raindrop tears with the palm of her hand. “What?”

  “I'm here to kick your butt in Guitar Hero.” She shakes her head, and I sigh. “Okay, fine, we can do Dance Dance Revolution instead, if you want.” I roll my eyes because I hate that game. But I'd play it for her if it'll help her stop crying.

  “I don't want to do anything, Dex.” She sits up, pulling the blanket and the bear tight to her chest.

  “I know.” I sling my arm around her shoulder, and she drops her head onto my chest. “I'm sorry about what happened with your dad.”

  “Why did he give up on me? What did I do wrong?” She cries again, and my shirt wettens from her tears.

  “Nothing, Meow.” I rub her back. Why does she think she did something wrong?

  Meadow's mom and dad were never married, and he has been in and out of her life since she was a baby. He used to come around every other weekend, but over the last couple of years, it has maybe only been every other month. I overheard my mom talking to my dad, that he has a new family and signed over his rights. I didn't understand what it meant, but what I did know was that Meadow's dad wasn't coming back this time.

  I never liked the man. He always gave me dirty looks and made Meadow cry a lot. And I was never allowed to hang out when he took her to his house. Which didn't seem right because Valerie always lets me come over whenever I want.

  It's why I'm so confused; Meadow is awesome. Why wouldn't he want to hang out with her all the time?

  “Do you want to try and call Wes?” Wesley is my cousin, and our best friend too. He would want to be here, but he's with my Aunt and Uncle in Florida on vacation

  “No...I mean...not yet. He's having fun. I don't want to bum him out.” She shrugs and fiddles with the arms of the teddy bear. “I have you...for now.”

  “You'll always have me. And Wes. I promise.”

  “You can't promise that. My own dad left!” She cries, now squeezing the bear so hard I'm afraid its head will pop off. “You guys will leave too.”

  “No, we won't because we're best friends. We love each other, and I promise right now to always be here for you. Forever and ever. No matter what.”

  “You swear? Forever and ever? You'll always be here with me?”

  “I swear!” I declare forcefully.

  “You swear on your Jordans and PlayStation 2?”

  “I swear on my Jordans and PlayStation and cross my heart, Meadow. Have I ever let you down?”

  “No.”

  “Then I'm not going to let you down now. You wanna spit on it?” I spit in my hand and hold it out for her.

  Her eyebrows twist and her nose wrinkles. “Dexter, that's disgusting.” She shoves me away with her feet and I wipe my hand off on my shirt.

  “What? Me and Wes do it all the time.” I laugh, and when she giggles, even if it'll only be for a second, I know I did my job.

  “I'm not touching either one of you again!” She sticks out her tongue in disgust.

  “Yes, you will because you love us.” I reach out and grab a hold of her arms to pull her into my lap. She struggles, wiggling around, but she’s now laughing harder. I tickle her side making her relent and she collapses into me. “And now you are always stuck with me, Meow.”

  She smiles up at me and pushes away the last of her tears from her cheeks. “Thank you, Dex.”

  Chapter One

  Present day...

  Meadow

  “Where’s my birthday girl?” my best friend, Dexter, yells from the front door of our townhouse. In his hand, he’s flaunting a bottle of Don Julio Tequila, my favorite. I had forgotten to pick up any for the party but leave it to Dex to always know what I need without asking. Another reason why he’s my favorite person on this green earth.

  “You’re late!” I yell back over the lyrics Sia’s “Cheap Thrills,” blasting through the surround sound, then fall into a fit of giggles. I’m already wasted, having drinks being poured down my throat as if it were my twenty-first birthday and not my twenty-fourth.

  “Sorry, babe. Traffic was shit. But you still love me, right?” He blows me a playful kiss and combs his fingers through his perfectly spiked brown hair.

  “Forever and ever.”

  I’ve known Dexter Greene since I was six months old and there’s still not a day that goes by that I ever tire of seeing his face. And what a face it is. I charge for him as he sets the bottle of Don Julio down and loosens his tie. He catches me in his arms without a hitch.

  “Miss me?” He chuckles and proceeds to blow a raspberry into t
he side of my neck.

  “Ugh, not anymore.” I groan, wiping the mess away as he carries me back to the living room. Our friends look on, smiling; this behavior between us is nothing new for them. I’m lovesick with my best friend and, well, my best friend isn’t. “You need to catch up. You’re behind.”

  My feet meet the ground again and he bops me on the nose. “I’m not behind, you’re just a fucking lightweight.”

  “Whatever. Mel, get the man his shots.” I nudge my girlfriend, who’s holding a bottle of Smirnoff. Lined up beside her on the console sofa table is eight filled shot glasses ready to go. She's forever the Bartender. Makes the best drinks and always ready to listen to my problems. “I want him drowning with the rest of us in the next thirty minutes.”

  “Yes, ma’am.” She salutes me and replaces the bottle of Smirnoff with Jack and an empty shot glass.

  “Wait!” Dexter holds his hands up. “Before you try to kill me for your birthday, I have your gift in my room. One second.” Dexter puts up his index finger and then quickly disappears up the stairs.

  “Aww,” Mel places her hand on her heart and bats her eyes sweetly, “you guys make my teeth hurt and want to vomit.”

  “Shut up, Mel.”

  “No, I will not, Meadow,” she says pointedly but thankfully makes me what should've been Dex's shot. “I wish you two would just confess your love for each other. Or like bone already. The sexual energy around you two is killing us all.”

  “Well, I’ll make sure to make it my birthday wish. Until then, you are going to have to suffer with me because I highly doubt he’ll do either of those.”

  “If you want, we can tie him down to the bed for you. That way you can have your way with him. Maybe get the whips out and you can ride him into next year.”

  “Alright, Christian Grey, settle. There will be no tying up or chains or whatever.” I throw back the shot and my body shivers as the brown liquor burns all the way down. “If he wanted me, he knows where to find me.”

  “Ugh, you'll never get anything that way.” She picks up one of the tabled shots and tosses it back. “Just let me know if you change your mind. I have rope in the car.”

  “I'm not gonna even ask.”

  “Not going to ask what? Why Mel is moonlighting as a serial killer?” Dexter chuckles and slides his arm around my shoulder. “Who we killing?”

  “My new coworker.” I lie smoothly, though it might not be one. I do want to kill my new co-worker, Kayleigh. But I am not thinking of her and my hands around her neck tonight.

  “Oh, okay. Let me know when you need help moving the body.” My lips break into a large smile and I wrap my arms around his waist.

  I love that I can always count on him to have my back, even when he doesn’t know why.

  “Maybe tomorrow. So, what did you get me?” I ask, noting the wrapped box hanging in his hand.

  Dex lifts the box and nudges it into my stomach making me break away from him.

  I take the gift from him, feeling giddy. Dexter always gets me the most thoughtful gifts. Peeling back the pink and blue balloon wrapping paper, I reveal a wooden box with a gold clasp.

  Tears slip from my eyes as I hold the familiar wooden box. My fingers trace over the faded painted drawings that Dex, his cousin, Wesley, and I drew as kids.

  Wesley Greene.

  He was our third amigo. He was two years older than us, but we did everything together. Dexter’s mother had started babysitting me at six months old, along with Dex who had been nine months old, and Wesley. I don't know how she managed all three of us, but we grew up tight and spent every moment together.

  That was till Wesley died when he was eighteen. The three of us were in a car accident caused by a drunk driver. It was—and still is—one of the darkest days of our lives. Wes and I dated for a little over a year and I thought I would have forever with him. Then one day...he was gone. There's not a day I don't miss him, and I know Dexter feels the same way too.

  I shake it off, not wanting to remember the heart retching ache now, and undo the clasps of the ‘time capsule.’

  Right away, I break into tiny giggles seeing the items we thought we had to preserve forever. Inside is Wes’ old Yellow Power Rangers action figure and Indiana Jones compass. A couple of Dexter's favorite hot wheels, a bunch of colored pictures of Dex's first architectural designs, some letters we wrote to each other, and a mix CD I made.

  “I can't believe you found this.” We had buried this in the woods behind Wes’ house when we were ten. The only problem was we had forgotten to mark where we had hidden it and the area spanned over four acres. I flip over the mix CD I made, and I giggle at the couple of Weird Al Yankovic songs that are mixed in with some classic TLC and Nirvana songs. I had some eclectic taste in music when I was ten.

  “It took a while, but Uncle Frank gave me a hand.”

  “Dex.” Words escape me and I throw my free arm around his neck and kiss his stubbly cheek. “Thank you.”

  “I'm glad you like it. I thought you'd be a little upset you didn't come.”

  “No, no. This saves me all that digging. And we have it again.”

  “It's yours...I want you to have my stuff and I know Wes would want you to have his. I have something else for you too.”

  From his back pocket, he pulls out a white gold chain. I place the box down on the table, and he places the chain in my hand. There’s a white gold eternity charm attached to it with little diamonds around it. “Dex, it’s perfect.” The perfect gift that symbolizes forever and ever. I only wish it meant more. That his love for me was more than being friends, best friends, and it would lead to him eventually giving me a ring. “Can you put it on me?”

  “Of course.” He takes the necklace from me, and I spin around and pull up my hair. My body tingles as his fingers brush across my neck to clasp on my necklace. “All done,” he whispers in my ear and my head turns, inches from his lips. My lips pucker to give him a quick thank you on his soft inviting lips, but unfortunately, they don't get to make contact when he pulls away, brushing a kiss to my forehead instead.

  “Thanks,” I smile, trying to keep the disappointment out of my voice.

  “What's all this junk?” Julian—Dexter's boss, but also our good friend—breaks up the moment peering into the box on the table.

  “It's not junk. They're mementos,” I huff defensively.

  “Oh, you mean something only you guys will understand. Got it.” Julian shakes his head and puts his Coors Light to his lips.

  “Yes, pretty much,” Dex and I say at the same time.

  He chuckles, “I swear you two just need to…”

  “Hey, Julian.” Mel grabs his arm, coming to the rescue and stopping him from what he was going to say, which I'm sure would have been something to lead to my embarrassment. “We need to get the birthday girl more shots and your buddy boy needs like twenty as well. So, why don't you go fill him up while I set up quarters.”

  After loading Dex down with his catch up shots, we settle into a game of quarters along with the rest of my friends. I suck at this game. Like legit suck. I suck at it sober and then add alcohol, I suck at it even more. Now being the birthday girl, I'm everyone's choice to drink. My head is spinning, and I’m finding everything funny. Like the word moist. There is nothing funny about that cringe-worthy word. But every time Julian mumbles about his quarter being moist, I’m in hysterics instead of kicking him the hell out of my house.

  “Dex, can I be on your team?” I plead with a bat of my eyes after I miss the glass...again.

  “There's no teams in quarters, Meadow.” Steve, my Barney Stinson of sidekick’s snorts. “You need to sit there and suffer the drunk consequences.”

  “I already am because you have two faces,” I say with an exaggerated slur and hold up three fingers for added humor. Steve flips me off while the others laugh at me. “Now I need someone that can either drink for me or aim for me so I can finally pick someone to drink. And it's my birthday so...” I shrug
and move from my chair and my ass falls into Dexter's lap. Nobody else protests my requests.

  Dexter nuzzles his chin into my shoulder and his arm wraps around my waist pulling me in closer. For a moment, it's like we're a couple and not just friends. We’re something more and I wish it could stay like this forever.

  I wish he could only see how perfect we could be together.

  I remember the second I realized I had fallen for my best friend. Honestly, it might have been growing for some time, little by little, and maybe it was always on a low simmer, but it was a year ago when my dog, Pickles, died. Pickles was the dog Dex had bought me after Wes passed. He was this brown chihuahua that looked like Elle’s from Legally Blonde. I carried him everywhere and, next to Dexter, that little dog helped get me through Wesley's death. I loved that dog, and when he passed, I felt as if I lost another piece of Wes, so I ended up clinging to Dex once again. He carried me around and force fed me for weeks. It all might seem silly, and maybe it's my imagination because Dex has always been there for me through every tough time, but I felt this shift between us.

  The looks, the touches felt more electrifying. Every dream he became the star, replacing the Hemsworth Brothers. Even the way we flirted changed to where our friends picked up the sexual energy. I stopped dating and so did he. Every day I've thought about telling him how I feel, but I can't get the courage to do it, in case I'm wrong.

  I mean, if he is in love with me, why wouldn't he tell me? Either way, I have him. I have my Dex and it'll happen when it's time. For now, I'll keep doing what I know best…slow seduction…even if it kills me.

  “Meadow, Dexter, or whoever...it's your turn.” Mel snaps her fingers in my face and chuckles calling me out of my daydream. Dexter laughs in my ear and his warm breath on my bare skin sends a shiver down my spine.

  I shift on his lap as I reach for the quarter to give to Dex to take for my turn. He groans and digs his fingers into my hips and his teeth into my shoulder. “Cut it out.”